Stan Lightfoot is the perfect paparazzo. He and his talented canine companion can track down anybody, anywhere. He’s on the hunt, and with the next flash of his camera, Stan could ruin a celebrity’s life and become a millionaire. His work has gone unappreciated by everything from beefy bodyguards to vicious Chihuahuas, but this time he’s interrupted by something new: a vampire.
When she sees what Stan is up to, the fanged woman demands his help in introducing her to her celebrity crush. It’s an offer he can’t refuse: Stan has to deliver the world’s biggest movie star on a non-silver platter, or find himself on the menu instead. He’s forced on a twisted road trip through nightmare America, and his new companion doesn’t mind driving through the night.
Stan only has a few days to figure out this perplexing woman with a monstrous hunger for blood and an all-too-human obsession with fame. Her power seems god-like, but he’s been in tough situations before. Maybe he can at least save his dog. The bigger issue is that to the perfect paparazzo, a star who doesn’t want to be found is as dangerous as any monster.
Circumstance is a small town full of big secrets. Victor Days tries to avoid drama—he tries to avoid just about everything lately—but today, he’s about to become the talk of the town when his life is hit by a preposterous series of escalating disasters. And it all started with that damn bagel.
Victor needs to find the ambition to fight back against a corrupt cop who wants him dead, a town full of people hungry to be entertained by a spectacle, and an electronics tycoon who wants Victor’s death caught on camera.
A madcap comic adventure with emotional punch, combined with poignant social commentary, Victor of Circumstance shows how a change of perspective could make the difference between living the good life and going down in a hail of bullets.
“Brimming with well-observed critiques of modern life, Victor of Circumstance has some laugh-out-loud moments and satire reminiscent of John Kennedy Toole.”
—Mark A. Rayner, author of The Fridgularity
It’s been described as erotica by a virgin. But Leonard Delaney describes Sex Boat like this:
When Winston left for a tropical vacation on a boat, he did not expect to be alone. Yet here he is, on a boat, holding the diamond ring he intended to propose to Brooke with, while she’s been held back by her job. Lame. But things start to perk up when a party girl with a dark side and a blue-eyed bombshell with an ocean obsession both express sexual feelings about him. Winston has some choices to make about how to spend his vacation. Meanwhile, a mysterious force from the depths of the ocean has other plans for the boat.
Erotic, exhilarating, sexual, exciting, and mysterious, Sex Boat is a caper that will wiggle its way inside of you and make you reluctant to remove it. Just wait until you see the alarming finale.
Lenny does Harry Potter (though he’d never admit that he’s inspired by anything).
Peter Harrison is not a wizard. He’s just a regular guy, too broke and lazy to escape living in his uncle’s basement. It’s not exactly paradise. So when a case of mistaken identity leads to a white van coming to take him to wizarding school, he’s happy to be whisked away.
He’s also pleased to discover that the teachers are all beautiful women, but when they take a sexual interest in Peter for no reason, his secret is dangerously close to being discovered. Plus, these wizards seem to have a dark secret, and getting kicked out of school will be the least of Peter’s worries if they find out he’s not a wizard.
Motherfucking Wizards is an erotic mashup of explicit sex stuff and badass sorcerers. What superauthor Leonard Delaney lacks in experience, he makes up for in the magic of imagination. This novella is for awesome adults only.
Leonard Delaney’s Digital Desires Inbox contains three stories of close encounters with technology.
Taken by the Tetris Blocks
When blocks started falling from the sky, Christie Aackerlund welcomed the excitement. Now she’s having a bad day at work, and craving some fun and games. Luckily, she runs into some Russian blocks that are looking to score. Soon, she’ll be the one falling … in lust.
Conquered by Clippy
Christie Aackerlund doesn’t need help with anything. So when the world’s biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artifact, all by herself, she’s all like “I’ll do it!”
But the artifact isn’t what it seems, and soon an overly helpful giant living paperclip is getting her all bent out of shape.
Invaded by the iWatch
Christie Aackerlund loves technology, so she is happy to try out a smartwatch prototype that mysteriously arrives at her door. When she asks the watch how it can make her less lonely, she has no idea how many sensual features are packed into the tiny device.
Discover how a forbidden sexual romance between a woman and a watch is possible. Cry out in joy at guest appearances from your favourite technology personalities. Squirm at a twist ending to the Digital Desires trilogy that will leave you uncomfortably aroused.
Exclusive to This Box Set: The Digital Desires Study Guide
A set of questions for educators and Delaney scholars to provoke discussion with and dig deeper into the Digital Desires universe.
Four pop culture bizarro erotica pieces for modern readers. All for less than the price of two books. This set includes:
The Minions in Me
Katie is on a date with the world’s greatest supervillain. He is rich, powerful, and dreadfully boring. Yet there is something intriguing about the hapless henchmen that serve him, and Katie soon wonders what they can do to serve her. Sexually. Get ready to go bananas for this erotic parody, featuring a variety of sexual positions with formless yellow creatures.
Oregon Patriots Occupied My Butt
An erotic tale ripped straight from the headlines. Cap is confused about his identity, but gets some clarity when he stumbles across a militia occupying a wildlife sanctuary in Oregon. Are they patriots? Terrorists? Cap—and his butt—are about to find out.
Humping the Hambandit
When they made hamburgers illegal, Emmy’s skills as a burger expert became a lot less useful—except to criminals. She never wanted to be dragged into a heist, but she can’t say no to him: the world-famous Hambandit. The burger-running game has become lucrative, and now that the Hambandit is a billionaire who’s gotten himself a makeover, he’s looking absolutely delicious.
Womanized by Idris Elba Playing James Bond
Idris Elba is finally playing James Bond, and wow, he’s perfect for the role. Emmy admires his suaveness from the sidelines as she works on the movie set—and tonight, she’s working late. Idris Elba may play the perfect spy, but Emmy has a dangerous secret: she’s actually a spy. Now an ancient Hollywood cabal is taking over the studio,and it’s a cinematic clusterfuck that can only be escaped using the ultimate spy gadget: love.
Bonus: An Interview With Leonard Delaney
Includes never-before-seen content and insight into the genius himself.