Phronk’s debut novel, Stars and Other Monsters, has a new cover! It’s hand-illustrated by the wonderfully talented Keith Draws, who was a joy to work with, and will be back for the sequel (now in progress). I think this perfectly captures the pulpy feel of the book, with all its horrifically twisted classic movie tropes. Get the newly covered Stars and Other Monsters on Amazon today. The new print version will be there any day now, and it will be available from other book stores early in the new year. Happy holidays!
Phronk here. My new short story, Strangers at a Funeral, is out now. It’s a young adult mystery with some horror sprinkled on top, and ties in with my novel, Stars and Other Monsters, if you know what to look for.
Brandon notices them at his grandpa’s funeral first: a pair of men in sunglasses who nobody seems to know. They’re not family, they’re not friends, they’re just … there. No big deal, until they show up again at the next funeral. Drawn into a world of funeral selfies and burial crashers, Brandon needs to know what these strangers want from the dead.
Only problem is, nobody gives a crap except him, and his school frowns upon skipping classes to watch people get buried. His sanity can’t take many more funerals, and those bulges in the strangers’ coats probably aren’t concealing anything pleasant.
If you want a little taste of Phronk, buy it for 99 cents or less:
For those who prefer real paper and sweaty meatspace to this cyber junk, and are in London Ontario (the titular Forest City), I’m working on some live appearances. Stay tuned for details.
It’s out! The first full-length novel from Forest City Pulp, and Phronk’s first real novel, Stars and Other Monsters, is now available.
Here’s a blurb:
Stan Lightfoot is the perfect paparazzo. His dog, Bloody, can track down anybody, anywhere, which comes in handy whenever a celebrity involved in a juicy scandal tries to avoid public attention. He’s about to get the perfect picture—a real privacy-invading winner—when he runs into a vampire who ruins his life.
From the dark and vulgar mind of Phronk—author of Baboon Fart Story—splashes a neo-vampire trip through nightmare America, full of movie stars and other soulless creatures, mind-numbing romantic comedies, and a Wal-Mart in every town.
When the vampire reveals a celebrity crush of her own, Stan finds a way to keep her from eating him. Helping a murderous monster screw a movie star wasn’t exactly what Stan had in mind when he got into photography, but it’ll buy him a few days. Can he find a way to escape a creature with god-like power before she reaches her destination?
It’s simultaneously a tribute to and a parody of crappy vampire romance novels. Consider it urban fantasy smothered in blood and skewered with a stake of romance.
You’ve got two options: Kindle and print. Except the print option is actually a bonus-filled mega-option, because Kindle Matchbook is enabled. If you buy the print version, you get the Kindle version absolutely free. United States only, I think; sorry, people actually located in the Forest City.
Go buy Stars and Other Monsters today. It’s pretty good. You, of all people, would like it.
Our first full-length novel is Stars and Other Monsters by Phronk (me). It will be out on June 13th, initially for Kindle. Stare at the pretty cover below, then read more at FuckVampires.com, add it on Goodreads, and buy it on June 13th.
Book bloggers and other reviewers can request an early copy. Just send us a message.