Catching Up With Leonard Delaney

Phronk here. I’ve been terrible about updating this blog with new releases. I’ll catch up eventually, but for now, here are a few of the latest from Leonard Delaney:

Womanized by Idris Elba Playing James Bond

Idris Cover.001Idris Elba is finally playing James Bond, and wow, he’s perfect for the role. Emmy admires his suaveness from the sidelines as she works on the movie set—and tonight, she’s working late. Idris Elba may play the perfect spy, but Emmy has a dangerous secret: she’s actually a spy.

An ancient Hollywood cabal is taking over the studio, and Emmy is in over her head when she faces a hoard of bad guys with guns, a suitcase containing a shadowy secret, and a distractingly sexy Idris Elba. It’s a cinematic clusterfuck that can only be escaped using the ultimate spy gadget: love.

Get double-O excited for this erotic thriller, featuring heart-thumping action, powerful intrigue, and a variety of sexual positions with Idris Elba as he plays the character James Bond. Careful; this short story is for super mature audiences only.

It’s exclusive to Amazon for now: Amazon.com | Amazon.ca

Pounded by Pluto

Pluto Cover.001“I don’t want to live on this planet any more.” It’s a common thought after seeing what ridiculous crap gets published on the Internet. Well, astrophysical adventurer Tyson DeNeil Grassbone is taking it literally and moving to Pluto, which can’t be any worse than Earth.

He’s in for a surprise when Pluto wants to engage in a little seismic activity. The only question is: wait, what? How?

Pounded by Pluto is a 5000 word short story with universal appeal. It kicks off the epic space opera of Leonard Delaney’s The Planets.

Available now on Amazon: Amazon.comAmazon.ca

There is much more. Did you catch Leonard’s debut freelancing for Buzzfeed? It’s here: The Minions In Me. (Yes, it’s minion erotica). He’s also working on other stuff, both online and in print of various types. Stay tuned.

I’m also hard at work on my stuff. Stars and Other Monsters will have a sequel someday soon, I promise. Stay tuned!

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New Novel! Victor of Circumstance by Cal Chayce is Out Now

VICTOR_FOR_EBOOK-3Phronk here. I’m incredibly happy to welcome a new author to Forest City Pulp. Cal Chayce brings in some literary punch with Victor of Circumstance, a funny and thrilling small-town adventure. Here’s my take on it:

Like all good satire, Victor of Circumstance is exaggerated, but rooted in reality. The many characters draw from stereotypes, but even minor characters have quirks and depth that bring into question the real-life assumptions that stereotypes rely on. Yet there are clear villains—Donny Gudsen in particular is a cartoonish boor who could nonetheless be found in today’s news headlines.

The story is cinematic in feel, reminiscent of great comedies like Groundhog Day and Vacation. When all of the characters played their part in the meticulously orchestrated finale, it made me want to stand up and cheer.

Victor of Circumstance is funny and touching. Anyone who gives it a chance is sure to have a good time.

Don’t just believe me.

“Brimming with well-observed critiques of modern life, Victor of Circumstance has some laugh-out-loud moments and satire reminiscent of John Kennedy Toole.”
—Mark A. Rayner, author of The Fridgularity

Buy Victor of Circumstance: Amazon.com | Amazon.ca. Add it on Goodreads while you’re at it.

MOTHERFUCKING WIZARDS by Leonard Delaney: Cover Reveal and Preorder

Leonard here. My new book, MOTHERFUCKING WIZARDS, is out on October 4th. You can preorder it on Amazon right here. Now, you may be wondering, “is Leonard mad at the wizards?” No, I am not calling them MOTHERFUCKING WIZARDS in anger, but out of respect. Next you may wonder, “do the wizards have sexual relations with their moms?” That would have been a clever pun, but no. MOTHERFUCKING WIZARDS does, however, feature some steamy erotic scenes with women who are teachers. Perhaps that will excite you. As will this cover:
Wizards Cover.001Any relations to other books about boy wizards or content in vulgar card games are entirely unintentional. Preorder MOTHERFUCKING WIZARDS today please.

New Short Story: Strangers at a Funeral by Phronk

Phronk here. My new short story, Strangers at a Funeral, is out now. It’s a young adult mystery with some horror sprinkled on top, and ties in with my novel, Stars and Other Monsters, if you know what to look for.

Funeral Cover.001

Brandon notices them at his grandpa’s funeral first: a pair of men in sunglasses who nobody seems to know. They’re not family, they’re not friends, they’re just … there. No big deal, until they show up again at the next funeral. Drawn into a world of funeral selfies and burial crashers, Brandon needs to know what these strangers want from the dead.

Only problem is, nobody gives a crap except him, and his school frowns upon skipping classes to watch people get buried. His sanity can’t take many more funerals, and those bulges in the strangers’ coats probably aren’t concealing anything pleasant.

If you want a little taste of Phronk, buy it for 99 cents or less:

Strangers at a Funeral at Amazon.com

Strangers at a Funeral at Amazon.ca

For those who prefer real paper and sweaty meatspace to this cyber junk, and are in London Ontario (the titular Forest City), I’m working on some live appearances. Stay tuned for details.

All Hands on Dick! Sex Boat: Now Available in Paperback

Our first release, the hilariously dirty Sex Boat by Leonard Delaney, is now available in paperback. FCP specializes in e-books, but we realize that some of you like your pulp a little more tactile. Buy Sex Boat here; it’s a shipload of fun.

2013-08-19 08.16.39 pm

Sex Boat is the story of sexual adventures on the high seas from a writer who lives fart from the sea and has probably never had sex. Winston finds himself in a predicament when his fiancee ditches him hours before a cruise vacation. He’s stuck on the boat with a blue-eyed beauty who loves to get wet, a party girl with a dark side, and what’s that tentacle sticking out of the water? Just wait until you read the alarming final scene.

Buy Sex Boat: An Erotic Novella About Sex on a Boat, now in paperback, before we make another cheesy boat-related pun.