Category Archives: Phronk

New From P.T. Phronk: Are You Seeing This?

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Are you seeing this? It’s a question pertinent to a divided society, where what burns the mental retinas of one person may be completely invisible to another. It’s also the title of my latest novella about monsters, which is out now.

Are You Seeing This? by P.T. Phronk

Are You Seeing This? is the classic tale of a group of friends getting away from the city to hike in the forests of Vancouver Island, only to find that one of them is losing his mind, and of course it’s Kyle. He’s the only one who can see the massive creature in the water, except maybe it isn’t so imaginary, and maybe it isn’t going to stay in the water.

Honestly, this story started with the title, which was originally Are You Seeing This Shit? I wanted to explore the exasperation of seeing something obvious and dangerous, right in front of you, but nobody else is doing anything, so you turn to another person (or the camera, or God, or whatever), a questioning look on your face, trying to find out if you’re alone in your little subjective bubble.

It’s a cabin-in-the-woods creature feature, or maybe a deep exploration of the human psyche, or maybe both.

Are You Seeing This? is available as an ebook or in print. I’ve worked with a cover artist, sensitivity reader, editor, and myself to make this a special little artifact that I hope you like.

Get it here: Amazon.com | Amazon.ca | Amazon.co.uk

New Free Short Story: Chad, by P.T. Phronk

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Chad Cover.001Hello. This is the writer known as P.T. Phronk. I wrote a short story about a guy known as Chad. The story is called Chad.

This one is pretty weird, both in terms of the story itself and how it is written. It’s not for everyone; probably more of a love it / hate it type of thing. That’s why I’ve made it free wherever I can. Maybe you can give it a try and see if you love it. Here’s the description:

Chad has a secret. They’ve been best friends for a while now, but if the hesitation in Chad’s voice is any indication, that could all be over. Trying to figure out what’s wrong may drive him crazy, but soon they will meet, and Chad’s secret will be revealed.

This book also has a secret. See if you can figure out what’s unusual about this story before you get to the end.

Chad is a short story about awkward friendships with some unusual twists.

Chad is free on most ebook platforms: Amazon.com | Amazon.ca | Google Play | iBooks | Kobo | Nook

Out Now: Of Moons and Monsters, by P.T. Phronk

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The sequel to P.T. Phronk’s splattery debut horror novel, Stars and Other Monsters, is out now. Of Moons and Monsters picks up right where the first book left off, with Stan in a hairy predicament, racing to the last place on Earth he wants to go: home.

Of Moons and Monsters
Of Moons and Monsters rips apart the coming-of-age small-town high school drama in the same way Stars and Other Monsters skewered the romantic comedy. It’s like Never Been Kissed, except with werewolves and lots of people dying in horrible ways.

Learn more about Of Moons and Monsters, or head straight to Amazon to buy the Kindle version or the paperback.

Review copies are available for book blogggers and whatnot. Just tweet me.

The Arborist: A Horror Novella by the Newly-Rebranded P.T. Phronk

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You might notice something different about me. That’s right, I’ve got some new letters in front of my name. I’m now known as “P.T. Phronk” instead of just “Phronk.”

There are a few reasons for the change. Some book stores (like Apple) require a first name for the listing. It looks better on a cover than the awkward “by Phronk.” Plus, for every person intrigued by an unusual single-name author, there are two people who just think it looks wrong and ignore it. So yeah, I’m giving in to the man, but only by two letters.

More importantly, I have a new book out. The Arborist is about a man haunted by a tree. I’ve always lived in cities, but felt that human need to be close to nature, even if it’s just a tree in the back yard. This book explores that urge, and what happens if it’s amplified by a tree that appears in the middle of the night, and is growing far too fast to be an ordinary tree.

I’d say The Arborist falls into the genre of “quiet horror.” If I’ve done my job, you will feel the lurking terror even if you don’t quite see it directly.

I also designed and illustrated the cover myself this time:

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I’m no professional cover designer, but I like how it turned out.

Get The Arborist on Amazon here. It’ll be on other stores soon; links will go here.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what P.T. stand for: nothing. Or many things. Part Time? Permanent Tourist? Phineas Taylor? Playable Teaser? Pug Tits? Who cares.

News from Phronk and Leonard Delaney (The Dirty Cheater)

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Phronk here. I’m hard at work on the sequel to Stars and Other Monsters, which, in case you’ve forgotten, is the latest novel in the vampires-and-dogs-and-celebrities genre. The second Other Monsters book is shaping up to take things in even more unclassifiable directions.

A cover reveal and title reveal are coming soon.

In the meantime, Leonard Delaney has been busy. His Minion erotica is now out as an enhanced standalone book, the fifth Digital Desires is an experiment that evolves as you read it, and he’s gotten into current event porn with satire on the ongoing Oregon occupation. A bunch of these are also in a new collection that I designed the cover and print interior for. It’s illustrated and retro and nice, so I’m pretty proud of it. Click below for each of these:

Minions CoverReviews Cover.001Ranchers.001.smallPop_Culture_Value_Combo_V2 

He’s also been running around and cheating with other small presses. New Kink Books is embracing this new wave of bizarro erotica, and has just released Strange Sex 3, a collection featuring some of the greatest bizarro authors out there. Lenny’s story “The Office Photocopier Wants to Fuck Me” is one of his best ever, and included in the collection (as its tag line, in fact). I’m reading the other stories, and some of these are really fucked up, you guys.

Check it out:

ss3-web-fj

More news “coming” soon. Hah.

Stars and Other Monsters: New Hand-Crafted Artisanal Cover

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Phronk’s debut novel, Stars and Other Monsters, has a new cover! It’s hand-illustrated by the wonderfully talented Keith Draws, who was a joy to work with, and will be back for the sequel (now in progress). I think this perfectly captures the pulpy feel of the book, with all its horrifically twisted classic movie tropes. stars for kindle small Get the newly covered Stars and Other Monsters on Amazon today. The new print version will be there any day now, and it will be available from other book stores early in the new year. Happy holidays!

Author Interview with Phronk

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A nice interview with Phronk about horror, writing, and his fear of phones.

Judy Goodwin's avatarJudy Goodwin

phronk

Two things on this busy Friday: I have a Countdown deal on my epic fantasy novel, Journey To Landaran, on Amazon today through Sunday and currently being featured on Indie Book Bargains: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IO7IXSC

 Indie Book Bargains

And second, I have horror writer Phronk, here to do an author interview! He’s hilarious, so please enjoy, and have a great weekend.

Thanks very much! My answers are below. For links, my web site at http://www.phronk.com and my Twitter profile at http://www.twitter.com/phronk are the best places to find me.

1.  So what got you writing in the first place?

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. I’ve come across hand-written stories from when I was a little kid, and they were as bizarre and convoluted as the stories I write today. I guess I figured out early that when my brain fabricates a twisted collection of ideas, it’s better to rip it…

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New Short Story: Strangers at a Funeral by Phronk

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Phronk here. My new short story, Strangers at a Funeral, is out now. It’s a young adult mystery with some horror sprinkled on top, and ties in with my novel, Stars and Other Monsters, if you know what to look for.

Funeral Cover.001

Brandon notices them at his grandpa’s funeral first: a pair of men in sunglasses who nobody seems to know. They’re not family, they’re not friends, they’re just … there. No big deal, until they show up again at the next funeral. Drawn into a world of funeral selfies and burial crashers, Brandon needs to know what these strangers want from the dead.

Only problem is, nobody gives a crap except him, and his school frowns upon skipping classes to watch people get buried. His sanity can’t take many more funerals, and those bulges in the strangers’ coats probably aren’t concealing anything pleasant.

If you want a little taste of Phronk, buy it for 99 cents or less:

Strangers at a Funeral at Amazon.com

Strangers at a Funeral at Amazon.ca

For those who prefer real paper and sweaty meatspace to this cyber junk, and are in London Ontario (the titular Forest City), I’m working on some live appearances. Stay tuned for details.

Stars and Other Monsters by Phronk: OUT NOW, OMG!

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Vampire's Bitch Print Cover 2.001 copy

It’s out! The first full-length novel from Forest City Pulp, and Phronk’s first real novel, Stars and Other Monsters, is now available.

Buy it on Amazon here.

Here’s a blurb:

Stan Lightfoot is the perfect paparazzo. His dog, Bloody, can track down anybody, anywhere, which comes in handy whenever a celebrity involved in a juicy scandal tries to avoid public attention. He’s about to get the perfect picture—a real privacy-invading winner—when he runs into a vampire who ruins his life.

From the dark and vulgar mind of Phronk—author of Baboon Fart Story—splashes a neo-vampire trip through nightmare America, full of movie stars and other soulless creatures, mind-numbing romantic comedies, and a Wal-Mart in every town.

When the vampire reveals a celebrity crush of her own, Stan finds a way to keep her from eating him. Helping a murderous monster screw a movie star wasn’t exactly what Stan had in mind when he got into photography, but it’ll buy him a few days. Can he find a way to escape a creature with god-like power before she reaches her destination?

Probably not.

It’s simultaneously a tribute to and a parody of crappy vampire romance novels. Consider it urban fantasy smothered in blood and skewered with a stake of romance.

You’ve got two options: Kindle and print. Except the print option is actually a bonus-filled mega-option, because Kindle Matchbook is enabled. If you buy the print version, you get the Kindle version absolutely free. United States only, I think; sorry, people actually located in the Forest City.

Go buy Stars and Other Monsters today. It’s pretty good. You, of all people, would like it.

 

Stars and Other Monsters, by Phronk – Out June 13th

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Our first full-length novel is Stars and Other Monsters by Phronk (me). It will be out on June 13th, initially for Kindle. Stare at the pretty cover below, then read more at FuckVampires.com, add it on Goodreads, and buy it on June 13th.

Stars and Other Monsters Cover V2 Medium

Book bloggers and other reviewers can request an early copy. Just send us a message.